This will be the fourth time I’ve started a blog. Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Two of my previous blog attempts were short-lived failures, but my last successful writing project ran for several years and had over a thousand readers. That almost sounds like success.
If I’m honest, blogging has been a mostly positive experience for me. That’s why I’m returning to it now, a decade later. I grew so much as a writer and as a thinker, I met a bunch of incredible people, and it helped me to catapult my actual career. I owe a not insignificant part of my current life to the decision to start a blog in college.
However, with the perspective that distance brings, I can admit that I made a lot of mistakes. I wrote some stuff I probably shouldn’t have, and on the whole I’m glad there’s no permanent record of the thoughts 20-year-old me was carelessly blasting out into the world. I also set myself a somewhat punishing cadence, which led to burnout and ultimately the death of that writing project. There’s a reason I’m only returning to this format now.
But by far I think my biggest mistake was my motivation for starting a blog in the first place, which was both selfish and unrealistic. I wanted to be famous. At least, I wanted to be widely read, and I wanted to be liked by the people who read me. It’s embarrassing to admit that I once thought a blog would get me there.
I think this sentiment is shared by every writer, at least at some point. The best of us write for ourselves, but all of us secretly crave the attention. Eventually, if we’re not careful, it consumes us and corrupts our works. The last time I tried this, I could feel myself growing more obsessed with my follower count, watching it tick up.
Over a thousand readers. That could easily be mistaken for success.
I’d like to be more intentional this time. No quotas. No SEO. No metrics. I write what I want, when I want to, and no more. Maybe I’ll go viral. Probably I won’t. That’s okay.
This is a project by myself, for myself. A place to put my thoughts, ruminate on world events, share snapshots of my life. A place for me to grow as a writer and as a person.
Read if you want. Or don’t. I'll try to be okay with it either way.